My run today took me alongside the river and as I ran, I watched the little floating patches of ice meandering their way down the river. They were a myriad of shapes and sizes. What stuck me as odd about them was they way they all had scruffy tufts of slush along their outer edges, looking like white & snowy parapets; as if Mother Nature had gotten out the grater and a large chunk of ice and shaved little piles of ice shards along the entire circumference of each little icy plateau.
It’s funny how Mother Nature has a way of making the most mundane look really beautiful. I have had the good fortune of seeing some really spectacular sunsets from the comfort of my balcony of my high rise apartment. Even though the icy travellers are harbingers of winter and the long coldness that will inevitably descend upon us; I could not help think of them as beautiful; like the glittering of hoarfrost on a bare gnarled oak tree or the glistening of the same tree after a freezing rain as the sun hits it early in the morning. Even in the midst of the apparent ugliness and dormancy of winter, beauty can be found.
I got to thinking about how the icy parapets had formed on each of the frozen travellers. I thought it must be caused by the collision of the wayward ice, as they float down the river, they careen off each other; merging briefly, transferring and building up their slushy edges before parting ways and meandering on down the river as separate little voyageurs.
This meeting and parting is a lot like people; meeting, transferring knowledge and emotions and then parting again each a bit built up by having come into contact with the other person. Each of us grows a bit, having met and interacted with another person.
Whether it something as obvious as a student learning something new from their teacher or learning bits of trivial during a party or other gathering or the more subtle way that a person feels stronger having met with a friend and during the course of their conversation, unburdened themselves of emotional or mental baggage they’d be carrying. Both people benefit; the one who unburdens oneself feels stronger and more free, and the friend who was able to be there for them feels better for having been able to help. The meeting and brief merging leaves neither person unchanged, even if the changes seem imperceptible, change has still occurred and our scruffy edges, our personal parapets have been altered by the interaction as we meander our way though life.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Learning Life Lessons from the Most Unexpected Teacher
This past summer was, arguably, the worst summer of my life (thus far). It was harder than the summer between 8th and 9th grade when my parents ripped me from my comfortable life in Edmonton and dragged me to the friendless wasteland of Winnipeg, where I spent that first summer having migraine sized headaches and threatening to run away. Worst still than the summer I had my heart broken by a man I loved (come to think of it, I’ve had a couple of summer heartbreaks like that).
But this past summer was, by far, the worst one.
This was the summer I had to say good bye forever to the one who has had the biggest part of my heart for the last 15.5 years. I had to euthanize my dog, a Maltese named Beau.
Beau and I met quite by chance. He was born to the dogs that were owned by the couple I was renting a room from during my second year of University. I got to meet him when he was 2 weeks old, as he was born while I was away on Christmas vacation. He was this little white puppy no bigger than a guinea pig, he'd come stumbling over and I'd pick him up and he'd fall asleep in the crook of my arm. That's when I fell in love. Being a student it wasn't my intention to own a dog, it wasn't practical; however, being 19 generally means that practicality gives way to desire and that's how Beau became the love of my life.
Beau was a great dog. We had our problems and our fights and yes, both tears and blood were shed but still and all, he was awesome.
In retrospect I learned a lot from him, he helped me grow.
He taught me the true meaning of…
Unconditional Love:
Beau would always comfort me when I cried; he'd come and try to lick my tears. There were times when I would yell at him for doing something bad, he would shy away for a minute or two then he’d forgive me for being angry and would bring me a toy and ask me to play with him. I wish I could comfort others so whole-heartedly and be as quick to forgive and forget.
Tolerance:
Beau was adaptable; he lived at ten different addresses in four different cities, in three different provinces and as long as he had one or two constants (either me or my parents and his toys), he was happy. I wish I was more adaptable like Beau.
Determination & Tenacity:
Beau was a fighter; not in the sense that he was an attack dog, though he did try and take on other dogs and he barked at skateboarders and really tall men in hats (don't ask me why) but he was a fighter because with all his medical problems over the years (a bad heart and bouts of pancreatitis and two episodes of having a pinched disk in his neck) he still carried on trying to be the Beau he had been for all those years. He just kept keeping on - I should have such strength.
Resourcefulness:
Beau knew how to amuse himself. He’d often disappear off and find a toy and I would hear him in another room playing by himself, tossing his toy and barking at it. He was also good at getting out of collars and out from behind barricades – he was a canine Houdini. I should be so well able to entertain myself and get myself out of entanglements.
Bravery & Acceptance:
Less than two months before he died Beau got very sick and was diagnosed as being in renal failure; his kidneys were failing. He spent three days a week in the vet clinic on IV fluids during the day and coming home with me in the evenings. Though it all he still remained the gentlest of souls; he freely got into his carrier in the morning as if knowing the needles and incarceration was meant to be of benefit to him. I should be as stalwart in the face of illness.
And Ultimately, Strength & Compassion:
This wasn’t as much a trait that Beau exhibited as much as it was something he taught me to have; for the day came when I had to make the decision to end his suffering. I had been telling people for weeks that there was no way I could actually ask the vet to euthanize Beau, part of me felt it would be like taking a life; but the day came when the sadness I thought I saw in his eyes and the limpness of his spirit made me feel that I was being selfish with all the poking and prodding and almost daily vet visits and the decision had to be made. I hope it was the compassionate thing to do and it was what Beau wanted.
Since his diagnosis of renal failure and subsequent death, I have looked back over his life and wished I had spent more time with him. Not been too lazy to bother or so quick to push him away when it wasn’t convenient for me to have him being playful or affectionate. This is the last lesson he has taught me – the importance of freely loving those that you love and not taking them for granted.
But this past summer was, by far, the worst one.
This was the summer I had to say good bye forever to the one who has had the biggest part of my heart for the last 15.5 years. I had to euthanize my dog, a Maltese named Beau.
Beau and I met quite by chance. He was born to the dogs that were owned by the couple I was renting a room from during my second year of University. I got to meet him when he was 2 weeks old, as he was born while I was away on Christmas vacation. He was this little white puppy no bigger than a guinea pig, he'd come stumbling over and I'd pick him up and he'd fall asleep in the crook of my arm. That's when I fell in love. Being a student it wasn't my intention to own a dog, it wasn't practical; however, being 19 generally means that practicality gives way to desire and that's how Beau became the love of my life.
Beau was a great dog. We had our problems and our fights and yes, both tears and blood were shed but still and all, he was awesome.
In retrospect I learned a lot from him, he helped me grow.
He taught me the true meaning of…
Unconditional Love:
Beau would always comfort me when I cried; he'd come and try to lick my tears. There were times when I would yell at him for doing something bad, he would shy away for a minute or two then he’d forgive me for being angry and would bring me a toy and ask me to play with him. I wish I could comfort others so whole-heartedly and be as quick to forgive and forget.
Tolerance:
Beau was adaptable; he lived at ten different addresses in four different cities, in three different provinces and as long as he had one or two constants (either me or my parents and his toys), he was happy. I wish I was more adaptable like Beau.
Determination & Tenacity:
Beau was a fighter; not in the sense that he was an attack dog, though he did try and take on other dogs and he barked at skateboarders and really tall men in hats (don't ask me why) but he was a fighter because with all his medical problems over the years (a bad heart and bouts of pancreatitis and two episodes of having a pinched disk in his neck) he still carried on trying to be the Beau he had been for all those years. He just kept keeping on - I should have such strength.
Resourcefulness:
Beau knew how to amuse himself. He’d often disappear off and find a toy and I would hear him in another room playing by himself, tossing his toy and barking at it. He was also good at getting out of collars and out from behind barricades – he was a canine Houdini. I should be so well able to entertain myself and get myself out of entanglements.
Bravery & Acceptance:
Less than two months before he died Beau got very sick and was diagnosed as being in renal failure; his kidneys were failing. He spent three days a week in the vet clinic on IV fluids during the day and coming home with me in the evenings. Though it all he still remained the gentlest of souls; he freely got into his carrier in the morning as if knowing the needles and incarceration was meant to be of benefit to him. I should be as stalwart in the face of illness.
And Ultimately, Strength & Compassion:
This wasn’t as much a trait that Beau exhibited as much as it was something he taught me to have; for the day came when I had to make the decision to end his suffering. I had been telling people for weeks that there was no way I could actually ask the vet to euthanize Beau, part of me felt it would be like taking a life; but the day came when the sadness I thought I saw in his eyes and the limpness of his spirit made me feel that I was being selfish with all the poking and prodding and almost daily vet visits and the decision had to be made. I hope it was the compassionate thing to do and it was what Beau wanted.
Since his diagnosis of renal failure and subsequent death, I have looked back over his life and wished I had spent more time with him. Not been too lazy to bother or so quick to push him away when it wasn’t convenient for me to have him being playful or affectionate. This is the last lesson he has taught me – the importance of freely loving those that you love and not taking them for granted.
RaM is born.
I have thought for years that I should start a blog (and one or two of my friends have often tried to nudge me in that direction). Finally, now is the time; the random thoughts and occasional strange occurrences that I am subjected to require, nay demand, an outlet; and I guess this is as good a place as any.
I am an average person, leading an average life; but even the most average among us has interesting stories to tell.
I originally thought I could set up a web site to which people could send in strange, amusing and sometimes embarrassing stories that have happened to them; I would modify them slightly to protect the author from ridicule and regret so they could remain anonymous. Each story would start off with the phrase “My name is Anonymous and this is my story” but not being too internet hosting savvy, I thought it might be too much trouble, and I was afraid, if I opened a site up to the masses I’d get some unfavourable responses and that some of the stories I received would be less than palatable for me to even read let alone post.
So I’ve decided to keep it simple and just stick to this blog to house my own ramblings and the occasional second-hand story that I think is worth telling. I will endeavour whenever possible to get permission to post the second-hand accounts and will obfuscate the names of the individuals in my blog. Not all of the ramblings here will be true stories and not all of them will be humourous, but hopefully all will entertain or simply leave you with a thought or two to ponder.
Welcome to my Ramblings and Miscellany.
I am an average person, leading an average life; but even the most average among us has interesting stories to tell.
I originally thought I could set up a web site to which people could send in strange, amusing and sometimes embarrassing stories that have happened to them; I would modify them slightly to protect the author from ridicule and regret so they could remain anonymous. Each story would start off with the phrase “My name is Anonymous and this is my story” but not being too internet hosting savvy, I thought it might be too much trouble, and I was afraid, if I opened a site up to the masses I’d get some unfavourable responses and that some of the stories I received would be less than palatable for me to even read let alone post.
So I’ve decided to keep it simple and just stick to this blog to house my own ramblings and the occasional second-hand story that I think is worth telling. I will endeavour whenever possible to get permission to post the second-hand accounts and will obfuscate the names of the individuals in my blog. Not all of the ramblings here will be true stories and not all of them will be humourous, but hopefully all will entertain or simply leave you with a thought or two to ponder.
Welcome to my Ramblings and Miscellany.
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