Forever & For Always

“Anytime & Always” is all I wrote in a recent email to a friend of mine. She was having a rough day and we had met for a brief chat so she could vent about her troubles. She sent me an email thanking me for letting her vent and my response to her was simple: “Anytime & Always”.

Simple, and yet not trivial.

There are several friends in my life that I would gladly do anything for, at anytime; if it was within my power; financially, physically, morally and ethically I would do it for them. These people I love. Not love in the “let’s get married and start a family” type of love – but love in the sense that I care deeply about each of them and, if I could and they needed me to, I would move heaven and earth to help them. Anytime & Always.

I tried penning a novel once, and there was a character “Cai” who would express her love and loyalty for her friends in the form of the phrase, “forever & for always” when they parted ways or thanked her, her response would be “forever and for always”
These two scenes embody this sentiment.

Scene One:
Cai had noticed Raynor’s attitude had changed, he’d become belligerent, argumentative, uncooperative and apathetic towards everybody and everything. She wanted to help him, find out what was wrong and offer what ever assistance she could.
She approached him one day in the Marketplace after witnessing him snap at yet another unsuspecting and well-meaning friend; “Hey, calm down, the guy just asked you a question.”
“I’m sick of everyone asking me questions” Raynor growled “why the heck can’t they just leave me alone. I don’t need help, I don’t need anything, I just need to be left alone.”
“We’re worried about you,” Cai ventured”
“I’m fine!” Raynor turned to leave and Cai gently put a had on his shoulder to stop him.
All Cai saw was a fist rapidly approaching her face, all she felt was a odd, solid sensation and a strange-sounding thud as his fist connected with her mouth and right cheek. She staggered back and found herself sitting on the floor with Raynor towering over her.
“Leave me alone & stay out of my life!” he bellowed.
Cai got up unsteadily, her left had over the very warm spot on her face, she could taste the blood from her split lip as she replied, quietly: “Forever and for always.”
Raynor turned on his heel and stormed off down the Marketplace corridor.

Scene Two (A month or two have passed)
“Raynor’s back” Sebastian said casually & quietly as he and Cai sat down to eat.
“I know,” Cai replied pushing the food around her plate with her fork. “I saw him in the Marketplace and I avoided running into him. He seems more like his old self now; I hope he’s managed to work things out. I wish I could have reached him then, but…” she shrugs and puts her fork down.
“You still care about him?” Sebastian asked, incredulous.
“Yes.” She said nothing more and resumed pushing the food around her plate; she didn’t feel like eating anymore.
“…Cai?” a voice from behind her said.
She recognised the voice, before she could respond, Sebastian got up hastily and excused himself and Raynor came into view.
“I need to talk to you. Can I sit down?”
“I’m sure you are capable and I guess you’re welcome to”
Raynor hesitated, “what?”
“Never mind, sit down.”
“Listen, Cai…” Raynor began and then hesitated – no words are adequate – he thought.
“You’re looking better,” Cai ventured.
“Yes, I’m feeling better. Look Cai, about what happened, I know I can’t ask you to forgive me, but really, I wasn’t myself. I can’t explain, not right now, but please believe me when I say it wasn’t me, well, it was, but…” he trailed off – I’m making a real hash of this – he thought.
He paused, trying to reform his thoughts so that something tolerably acceptable and intelligible form of speech came out of his mouth.
“I know,” Cai said quietly. She hadn’t looked him in the face since he’d sat down, choosing instead to stare at the unpalatable mess she’d made of her lunch plate. She looked up and found him staring intently at her.
“I know,” she repeated more confidently. “Do you remember the last thing I said to you before you left?”
A pained expression crossed his face and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes,” he said weakly.
“What did I say?” She pressed, “what were my exact words?”
He sighed, “forever and for always”. He dropped his eyes, no longer able to look her in the face.
“Exactly” she said softly.
He started getting up to leave.
“But do you remember what it means?” She asked and he was midway out of the chair.
He paused in mid-stand and looked at her askance. Unsure, he lowered himself back into the chair.
“I would have thought, after all these years, you’d know what I mean when I say: ‘forever and for always’”. She sighed. “I know you, I care about you, I will do anything within my power to help you, whenever you need me; I am here for you – forever and for always – no matter what. You see, you dolt, I love you. You are one of my oldest and best friends and I love you, forever and for always.”
He looked at her, his eyes getting moist, “Thanks,” he gurgled.
“But if you ever hit me again, I might have to get Maurter to beat the crap out of you.” She looked up at him and smiled.

Anyway, I’m not sure I could be as forgiving as Cai (or take a punch as well as she could), but that’s the beauty of fiction – it’s always more ideal and extreme than reality ever is.

In reality, I don’t know if my friends honestly know how deeply I do care about them. I hope they do. Maybe as a reminder, I should send them an email and sign it “forever and for always”.

Though I hope they never have troubled times; if they do and need to call someone, I hope that they remember that I am here ready and willing to help and then I can fulfill my promise – forever & for always.