Strange, but true.

I'm in a good mood today. I was in a good mood yesterday, not to mention the day before yesterday. Actually, I've been in a reasonably good mood since coming back from my trip (despite the cold, miserable, crappy, winter weather that makes me want to hibernate for the foreseeable future in the hopes that it will be green and alive the next time I open my window blinds). Yes, aside from the weather, I'm in a good mood.

Now, to you Polly Anna types out there this might not seem like a big deal. I am certain that there are a lot of people in the world that go through whole stretches of time being in a good mood; but I am not one of them. It's not that I consciously run about in a bad mood (nor, conversely, have I consciously woken up the past few days and said "Today I will be in a good mood" - as far as I know, that doesn't work), it's just that, normally, I let things bother me; I stew on things that annoy me until they become seething pots of malice (maybe too strong? Well, some-such ugliness at any rate) and since my return from NZ, I've been less stew-y and more do-y (please forgive the BIG degree of poetic license there).

I'm not sure what I can attribute my good mood to. Usually, after a trip I'm in a bad mood, having nothing to look forward to, having the trip just over, coming back to my "normal" life I fall into a "Post-Departum Depression". But this time it's not so bad. I'm back in the swing of things, enjoying work and enjoying life! How odd; is this really me blogging?

Is this really me? - YES!

I need to capture this in print, I need proof that I have days of feeling awesome. Sad, to think that I need to remind myself of the good times when I can easily recall any number of bad times in excruciatingly painful details... I wonder if optimists are the other way around, they easily remember the good times and are infrequently and unpleasantly reminded of the bad times.

I think failing to remember or recognize the good is how most people get depressed. Stewing and dwelling on the bad, colours the good. Maybe that's why it's called stewing - you marinate your life with anger and sadness and then wonder why depression is the "flavour of the month".

Is it possible to stew on happy thoughts? What would that be called? It's not dreaming, it's potentially more tangible than that - maybe the fact that I don't know what to call it is a good indicator that it's something I haven't done a lot of - if I had done, maybe I would have named it by now....

Maybe I could call it basking; “I’m basking in a happy glow…” a bit silly maybe, but as someone famous once said “What’s in a name?”

Though I realize my life is far from perfect and there are a lot of things going on right now in my life that I’m not happy about, still, in general I’m happy. Better than that; I’m in a headspace where I can begin to deal with the things I’m not content with. I can tackle life’s issues with a clearer head and calmer heart – strange, but true.