About one week ago I was assaulted on my way home from work. Though “assaulted” seems to be a bit strong a word, it is technically accurate, and since the incident I have felt a bit shaken and I thought blogging might make me feel better about it.
It was Monday afternoon, the weather was miserably cold and on any other day I would have said “No sane person would be walking outside on a day like today”. I decided I was not going to allow the extremely cold weather to stop me from walking outside to the LRT station, it was early enough for it still to be daylight out and at this time of year I need all the daylight I can get. So bundled up to the eyeballs, I walked from work to the LRT station – a short five minute walk outside.
As I was walking on the sidewalk north of the law courts there was a guy walking towards me, I made sure I was walking on the right hand side of the wide sidewalk, as I would always do, to ensure there was enough room for him to pass to the left of me.
As he got closer he stepped over to be walking directly in my path.
I stepped left to get out of his path and then he stepped right to block my path again.
Not wanting to play his game I stopped altogether, thinking he’d just walk past.
He advanced directly towards me and I put my arms up in front of me, fists formed, elbows bent as if I was trying to hide (or protect) my chest, to stop him from getting too close.
He advanced until his chest was touching my fists. He then stopped, gave me a look as if to say “figured you do that”.
Undoubtedly by then I had a “what the heck are you up to” look on my face. Neither of us spoke.
Then he stepped to the side and began to walk away.
I watched him as he walked past and as he did, he turned his head spat at my face. Lucky for me (yes, I feel soo lucky *dripping with sarcasm*) he missed my face and hit my toque.
Then he walked off and I yelled after him that I should have him arrested for assault.
It was weird, up until he spat at me I thought it was some strange University social behaviour experiment – how do strangers react to having their personal space invaded. He looked like a normal guy, university age (or mid 20s). So strange!
Originally I was annoyed and dumbfounded but now my brain has decided to spend more time processing it and has seen fit to send me “worst case scenarios” thoughts and now I’m just plain shaken.
One part of my brain keeps saying, “Wow! That could have been a lot worse. He could have hit you, or knocked you down, or worse…” While another keeps asking, “What could I have done differently? How could I have avoided the guy? Should I have kept walking? Should I have said something to him sooner? Should I have socked him one after he spit on me? Am I properly equipped to defend myself? Am I safe?”
Since the incident I have been hyper-vigilant when I walk to or from work, making sure, well in advance, that people coming towards me are not showing any signs of a “collision course” even going so far as to not walk a straight path to avoid any chance of it happening. I also have become very suspicious of all people I encounter on my way home whether walking or on the LRT. I know eventually the paranoia and hyper vigilance will subside, as the aftermath to any traumatic situation does – eventually.
But until it does, I guess I have to put up with my own heightened sensitivity and percolating paranoia and accept that I feel a bit like a victim right now. Oh, yes, and I’m looking into taking self defense courses and hoping to project the attitude - “don’t mess with me”.
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