It’s Not Rocket Science; So Why Do I Crash and Burn?

It is not complicated, it’s bloody simple and yet I am still not capable of doing it!

It is merely a matter of accounting – is you spend more than you get than you run a deficit! And darn it – I WANT TO RUN A DEFICIT!!

Sorry – maybe I need to apologise for this being a rant – I try very hard not to rant in my blog – to paraphrase (read bastardize) something from “Anne of Green Gables” said – if you only knew how much I’d like to rant about but don’t you’d forgive me this rant.

Now that I have added this disclaimer and taken a deep breath I can explain what I am actually ranting about. I’m trying to lose weight – well probably more accurately - I would like to weigh less; because claiming that "I’m trying to lose weight" would imply that I’m actually making a true concerted effort.

AND THEREIN LIES THE RUB – OR THE RANT.

I WANT to lose weight but I seem incapable or unconsciously unwilling to MAKE the concerted effort that is required.

As I stated before – it is not complicated – the theory s relatively straightforward – run a deficit! Expend more calories than you consume!

The problem is I don’t seem to be able to stick to either side of the equation – I can’t seem to resist eating the junk that I (almost daily) sabotage myself with; and I keep skipping workouts that I plan to do during the week.

So why – when I HAVE the DESIRE; do I LACK the WILL!?!?!

It’s not that I have done it for several weeks and then fallen off the wagon after feeling completely hard-done-by. I can’t even manage to go ONE BLOODY WEEK without detouring down the junk food aisle on my foray to the grocery store. And it’s not like I am doing a crazy reduction (read starvation) diet – ALL I am TRYING (ok WANTING) to do is to cut out the CRAP (chips, chocolate, etc.) and adhere to a reasonable fitness regime.

I would really like to know why the WILL is lacking when the DESIRE is there!

I know some will argue that’s it is part of the Human Condition, (finding it easy to do what you ought not to be doing and finding it hard to do what you really want to be doing) – heck there is even some poetic bit in the Bible about it – but darn it – wanting to better oneself is ALSO part of the Human Condition – as is being the BEST THAT YOU CAN BE – or maybe that’s just American Military propaganda.

But still I ask: why – when I am clearly unhappy with my current physical state and I have the tools at my disposal to do something about it – am I unwilling to make an effort to change things?

I wish I could answer that question – because after all my ranting and wishing – I’m now craving a bag of Baked Old Dutch Dill Pickle Chips (more easily referred to as: Evil in a Bag) and really hope I can avoid the grocery store on my way home from Spin class tonight – but I’m not sure I have the willpower to do so.