Functional Hibernation

I have been struggling for the last couple of weeks, trying to get my life-rhythm back.

This winter has been colder than normal, snowier than normal and downright more miserable than normal and I, in turn have also been more miserable than normal. So, for whatever reason, this winter has been very hard on me.

My “Coping Strategy” for dealing with this most miserable of seasons was to adopt what I called “function hibernation”; which meant I did as little as I needed to do, going outside as little as possible.

I would go to work, get groceries and pretty much everything else was classified as “non-essential” and therefore did not need to be done until the weather warmed up. The problem was, the weather took forever to warm up.

I managed to convince myself that this was an excellent approach to winter. I wasn’t hibernating as I didn’t skip workouts, I just did them either on the treadmill in the fitness room in my apartment building, or on my bike which I had set up on its trainer in my bedroom. The problem was, I had very little human interaction having swapped the camaraderie of my spin group for the “efficiency” of just staying home. I reasoned that the decreased travel time would give me more time thereby allowing me to do longer spins at home than I would do at spin class. However, not having to go to class ultimately meant that I didn’t have to start my spin at any given time after work and workout times began to slip later and later into the evening leaving me with less and less time to do the actual spin.

But I was functioning. I wasn’t hibernating.

I resented having to dress in five layers and still feel cold. I hated trying to drive whilst bundled from head to toe. I hated the narrow roads and the poor traction and visibility.

I could go weeks without having to drive my car. Most weekends C was available to go grocery shopping with me and he would drive. Since I wasn’t going to spin and I could take the LRT to work, I didn’t need to drive during the week.

It was perfect.

…except for the fact that I began to feel like a shut-in.

…and I felt trapped.

…and I missed the outdoors.

But I wasn’t hibernating. I was functioning.

I got used to doing little with my evenings and weekends; having relegated most of my “running around” until such a time as the “weather improved”.

The problem is, the weather has improved – it is still not stellar, it’s colder than normal and it is still more snowy than normal, but it’s not so cold as to freeze the air in your lungs if you happen to be unlucky enough to want to take a deep breath whilst outside; but it has improved – but my momentum hasn’t returned.

I can’t seem to break out of my winter inertia.

Instead of being inspired by the warmer weather I am overwhelmed by the number of things I have “set aside” for better days.

I look at my list then look at my couch and my book sitting next to it and think, “these things have waited for a couple of months, what’s another week?”

I am not hibernating. I am not functioning.

I am avoiding.

…and if I don’t want to fall into a void, I will need to break free of this inertia and start to make things happen.

Winter is over, functional hibernation is over.

As the ruts melt from the road, it is time to get out of my own motivational ruts.

It is time for some Spring Cleaning of the attitude and energies.

Spring is here!