...Not with a Bang but a Whimper

Have you ever built up an event in your head; trying to imagine how it will go. Envisioning it, playing it out over and working yourself up into a state until the day of the event and it happens – the event just happens.

There is no trauma, no drama, just the event - more like a non-event compared to the one you have imagined, ad nausea, in your head.

Never experienced that? Ok, just me then?

Actually, it has happened to me twice this month.

The first time being the GWN event at the beginning of the month and the second being the anniversary of Beau's passing.

Don't get me wrong, for the latter, I got up, had a little cry and got on with my day, it wasn't until I was happily enjoying the evening in the company of a friend of mine when all of a sudden I was gripped with what I must imagine to be "survivors guilt".

I was having fun on the anniversary of the worst day of my life; I felt guilty, fought back the urge to get weepy and then reminisced with my friend, who just happened to be the awesome person who took the day off work on the day I had to have Beau put down. We joked about re-watching the horrible movie we went to the afternoon after Beau's passing. And then we moved on with our evening. Fitting, since I have, to some degree, moved on with my life.

I don't know why I build up events in my head, working myself into a fit well before the day of the event. Why I feel it necessary to fill certain event with such black forethought and dread

Ah, yes, so much for Promoting Positivity.

But it’s not just potentially negative situations I build up in my head. I saw a musical last night that everyone in my acquaintance, that had seen it, raved about how good it was; so naturally by the time I went to see it, I had great expectations of a fabulous show and, once again, it was less than what I had imagined.

Once again, the Universe is busy trying to teach me something I seem, as yet, unwilling to learn. Stop getting so attached to outcomes, just let things happen.

As a famous character in a famous play once said – “Ay, there’s the rub”!