Putting the Tech in Technical Clothing.

I wish I was an inventor.

Last week, when I was nearing the end of my agonizingly long long run (about Kilometre 26 of 36) I decided I wanted to create a new type of running vest. Well, more specifically, it is a new type of "Technical fabric" that I would create.

This fabric will not be a better wicking fabric, or a thinner material or more light weight and it won’t make me faster or make my long run easier. You see, I don’t want to make clothes that will make faster, strong, better runners – I want to make clothing that tells the world what I’m up to.

Rather than clothes that breathe, I want to make clothes that brag.

I want to create a vest that has a series of super tiny LED bulbs embedded in the fabric. These bulbs would be wired together and connected to a little programmable CPU, all of which would still need to be super light weight and breathable so as to not hinder my athletic performance.

This whole set up would have one very vital purpose: allow me to upload to the clothing a saying or a set of sayings that would be displayed on the front and back of the shirt.

I could upload slogans like “I may be slow but at least I’m running” or it could just flash “Good Morning!” as I run past people, thereby saving me the energy of having to exchange pleasantries with passing runners. Or maybe I could upload motivational saying that would be displayed backwards that I could read with the aid of a mirror (that I would then have to take with me, ok, maybe not).

There could be an additional feature of a GPS locator that I could upload your running route and it would keep a running tally (so to speak) of how far I’ve gone.

So when I look so knackered that passers-by think I might require medical intervention they could see on my shirt that I’d completed “x” number of kilometres of my “Y” length of run.

Or maybe I could have it send Twitter updates as I go; every half hour – “I am now passing spot ‘A’ and my heart rate is ‘n’” – (hey, I’ve read less interesting things on Twitter).

For the security conscious, maybe it could be made smart enough to register when I fall unconscious and then flash “SOS” followed by my emergency contact information. “If found unconscious please call…”. That in combination with Twitter might actually be useful.

Ok, I freely admit this invention would be almost solely to massage my aching ego as I run my super long runs, but in my defence, why shouldn’t the passing masses know just how hard I am working.

Or maybe this invention is just the ravings of an oxygen starved mind – but tell me, when you’ve reached kilometre 26 of 36, wouldn’t you want the world to know?